The Symposium — Alcibiades bursts in

Alcibiades bursts in

4 min read

At this they all boisterously acclaimed him, bidding him enter and take a seat, and Agathon also invited him. So he came along with the assistance of his people and while unwinding the ribands for his purpose of wreathing his friend he so held them before his eyes that he failed to notice Socrates, and actually took a seat next to Agathon, between Socrates and him: for Socrates had moved up when he caught sight of Alcibiades. So there he sat, and he saluted Agathon and began to twine his head.

Then Agathon said to the servants, Take off Alcibiades’ shoes, so that he can recline here with us two.

By all means, said Alcibiades; but who is our third at table? With that he turned about and saw Socrates, and the same moment leapt up and cried, Save us, what a surprise! Socrates here! So it was to lie in wait for me again that you were sitting there—your old trick of turning up on a sudden where least I expected you! Well, what are you after now? Tell me, I say, why you took a seat here and not by Aristophanes or some one else who is absurd and means to be? Why did you intrigue to get a seat beside the handsomest person in the room?

Then Socrates said, Agathon, do your best to protect me, for I have found my love for this fellow no trifling affair. From the time when I fell in love with him I have not had a moment’s liberty either to look upon or converse with a single handsome person, but the fellow flies into a spiteful jealousy which makes him treat me in a monstrous fashion, girding at me and hardly keeping his hands to himself. So take care that he does no mischief now: pray reconcile us; or if he sets about using force, protect me, for I shudder with alarm at his amorous frenzy.

No, said Alcibiades; no reconcilement for you and me. I will have my revenge on you for this another time: for the present, Agathon, give me some of your ribands, that I may also deck this person’s head, this astonishing head. He shall not reproach me with having made a garland for you and then, though he conquers every one in discourse—not once in a while, like you the other day, but always—bestowing none upon him. So saying he took some of the ribands and, after decking the head of Socrates, resumed his seat.

Reclining there, he proceeded: Now then, gentlemen, you look sober: I cannot allow this; you must drink, and fulfil our agreement. So I appoint as president of this bout, till you have had a reasonable drink—myself. Agathon, let the boy bring me as large a goblet as you have. Ah well, do not trouble, he said; boy, bring me that cooler there,— for he saw it would hold a good half-gallon and more. This he got filled to the brim, and after quaffing it off himself bade them fill up for Socrates, saying, Against Socrates, sirs, my crafty plan is as nought. However large the bumper you order him, he will quaff it all off and never get tipsy with it.

Socrates drank as soon as the boy had filled: but What procedure is this, Alcibiades? asked Eryximachus. Are we to have nothing to say or sing over the cup? Are we going to drink just like any thirsty folk?

To this Alcibiades answered: Ha, Eryximachus, of noblest, soberest sire most noble son; all hail!

And the same to you, said Eryximachus: but what are we to do?

Whatever you command, for we are bound to obey you:One learned leech is worth the multitude. So prescribe what you please.

Then listen, said Eryximachus. We resolved, before your arrival, that each in order from left to right should make the finest speech he could upon Love, and glorify his name. Now all of us here have spoken; so you, since you have made no speech and have drained the cup, must do your duty and speak. This done, you shall prescribe what you like for Socrates, and he for his neighbor on the right, and so on with the rest.

Very good, Eryximachus, said Alcibiades; but to pit a drunken man against sober tongues is hardly fair. Besides, my gifted friend, you are surely not convinced by anything that Socrates has just told you? You must know the case is quite the contrary of what he was saying. It is he who, if I praise any god in his presence of any person other than himself, will not keep his hands off me.

Come, enough of this, said Socrates.

On the honor of a gentleman, said Alcibiades, it is no use your protesting, for I could not praise anyone else in your presence.

Well, do that if you like, said Eryximachus; praise Socrates.

You mean it? said Alcibiades; you think I had better, Eryximachus? Am I to set upon the fellow and have my revenge before you all?

Here, said Socrates; what are you about,—to make fun of me with your praises, or what?

I shall speak the truth; now, will you permit me?

Ah well, so long as it is the truth, I permit you and command you to speak.

You shall hear it this moment, said Alcibiades; but there is something you must do. If I say anything that is false, have the goodness to take me up short and say that there I am lying; for I will not lie if I can help it. Still, you are not to be surprised if I tell my reminiscences at haphazard; it is anything but easy for a man in my condition to give a fluent and regular enumeration of your oddities. Alcibiades’ praise of Socrates